Terry Pratchett Quote #1
(...) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain.
Terry Pratchett Quote #2
(About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.Terry Pratchett Quote #3
(About sweeping)....
What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.Terry Pratchett Quote #4
- Surely you have considered terrorist activity?
There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours.
-- The BBC interviews a nuclear spokesperson (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)Terry Pratchett Quote #5
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?
-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.Terry Pratchett Quote #6
. . . and what are you exactly, my friend? Their subordinate? Their employee? Or, I would suggest, their equal? That's what young Karl would certainly have said, and probably still does. Unless he's no longer alive.' Dodger gave Solomon and strange look and Solomon hastened to clarify. 'Mmmm, as I recall, if you go around telling people that they are downtrodden, you tend to make two separate enemies: the people who are doing the downtreading and have no intention of stopping, and the people who are downtrodden, but nevertheless -- people being who they are -- don't want to know. They can get quite nasty about it.' (205)
Terry Pratchett Quote #7
. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.
Terry Pratchett Quote #8
... a man needs no camel to ride to hell, yea, nor horse, nor mule; a man may ride into hell on his tongue...
Terry Pratchett Quote #9
... a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.
Terry Pratchett Quote #10
... drink levels all mankind. It is the ultimate democrat
Terry Pratchett Quote #11
...Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was...
Terry Pratchett Quote #12
...Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium...
Terry Pratchett Quote #13
...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
Terry Pratchett Quote #14
...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.
Terry Pratchett Quote #15
...the proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe.
Terry Pratchett Quote #16
[...]And his head is on fire with new things[...]he called himself the little blue hermit, scuttling across the sand in search of a new shell, but now he looks at the sky and knows that no shell will ever be big enough, ever.
Terry Pratchett Quote #17
[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it!
Terry Pratchett Quote #18
… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.
Terry Pratchett Quote #19
…We were born vampires.
I thought you became –
— vampires by being bitten? Dear me, no. Oh, we can turn people into vampires, it’s an easy technique, but what would be the point? When you eat… now what is it you eat? Oh yes, chocolate… you don’t want to turn it into another Agnes Nitt, do you? Less chocolate to go around.
He sighed. Oh dear, superstition, superstition everywhere we turn.Terry Pratchett Quote #20
A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch, Carrot drew himself up proudly, because someone's taken a book? You think that's worse than murder?
The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like What's so bad about genocide?Terry Pratchett Quote #21
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?
I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true.Terry Pratchett Quote #22
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
Terry Pratchett Quote #23
A good motto in life, he'd reckoned, was: don't eat anything that glows.
Terry Pratchett Quote #24
A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.
Terry Pratchett Quote #25
A man walked across the moors from Razorback to Lancre town without seeing a single marshlight, head-less dog, strolling tree, ghostly coach or comet, and had to be taken in by a tavern and given a drink to unsteady his nerves.
Terry Pratchett Quote #26
A voice said: One. One. One, two. One, two. Then the footsteps went back into the distance. After a while, another voice said: One, two, three, four- And the universe came into being. It was wrong to call it a big bang. That would just be noise, and all that noise could create is more noise and a cosmos full of random particles. Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord. Everything, all together, streaming out in one huge rush that contained within itself, like reverse fossils, everything that it was going to be. And, zigzagging through the expanding cloud, alive, that first wild live music. This had shape. It had spin. It had rhythm. It had a beat, and you could dance to it. Everything did.
Terry Pratchett Quote #27
A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.
Terry Pratchett Quote #28
A witch relied too much on words ever to go back on them.
Terry Pratchett Quote #29
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman
Terry Pratchett Quote #30
Aargh! I’m too short for this shit!
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