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Caitlin Moran Quotes | Quotes said by Caitlin Moran

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #1

    ...for all that people have tried to abuse it and disown it. feminism is still the word we need. No other word will do. And let's face it, there has been no other word, save Girl Power -- which makes you sound like you're into some branch of Scientology owned by Geri Halliwell. That Girl Power has been the sole rival to the word feminism in the last 50 years is a cause for much sorrow on behalf of the women. After all, P. Diddy has had four different names, and he's just one man.


  • Caitlin Moran Quote #2

    ...it's technically impossible for a woman to argue against feminism. Without feminism you wouldn't be allowed to have a debate on a woman's place in society. You'd be too busy giving birth on the kitchen floor -- biting down on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men's card game -- before going back to hoeing the rutabaga field.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #3

    ...there is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, You are a poo.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #4

    ..in the 21st century, we
    don’t need to march against size zero models, risible pornography,
    lap-dancing clubs and Botox. We don’t need to riot, or go on hunger
    strike. There’s no need to throw ourselves under a horse, or even a
    donkey. We just need to look it in the eye, squarely, for a minute,
    and then start laughing at it. We look hot when we laugh. People
    fancy us when they observe us giving out relaxed, earthy chuckles.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #5

    A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #6

    A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life-raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination. On a cold rainy island, they are the only sheltered public spaces where you are not a consumer, but a citizen instead

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #7

    A library is such a potent symbol of a town's values: each one closed down might as well be six thousand stickers plastered over every available surface, reading WE CHOSE TO BECOME MORE STUPID AND DULL.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #8

    A self-made man - not of woman born but alchemized, through sheer force of will, by the man himself. This is what I want to be. I want to be a self-made woman. I want to conjure myself out of every sparkling, fast moving thing I can see. I want to be the creator of myself. I'm going to begat myself

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #9

    After all, you can argue – argue until you cry – about what
    modern, codified misogyny is; but straight-up ungentlemanliness,
    of the kind his mother would clatter the back of his head for, is
    inarguable. It doesn’t need to be a ‘man vs woman’ thing. It’s just a
    tiff between The Guys.
    Seeing the whole world as ‘The Guys’ is important. The idea
    that we’re all, at the end of the day, just a bunch of well-meaning
    schlumps, trying to get along, is the basic alpha and omega of my
    world view. I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘antimen’. I’m just ‘Thumbs
    up for the six billion’.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #10

    Always believe you can change the world – even if it’s only a tiny bit, because every tiny bit needed someone who changed it.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #11

    And every book, you find, has its own social group--friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in the library that need never, ever end.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #12

    And that was the point I knew I just loved this filthy, ugly, loquacious man in a fur coat, who would spend the day roaming all over town, looking for bright lights, and laughter - and then at night come on stage, and unbutton two buttons on his waistcoat, with his clumsy, fat fingers, and show you his heart beneath.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #13

    And the question is always When are you going to have kids? Rather than Do you want to have kids?

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #14

    And when you are being kissed like this, you are Christmas Day; you are the moon shot; you are field larks. My shoes were suddenly worth a million pounds, and my breath was the ethyl in champagne. When someone kisses you like this, you are the point of everything.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #15

    And yet, despite the multiplicity of times we've done it, it is still a funny, exultant, true thing - where for a short time you turn into something else and fly; where you stop fretting and wanting, and are simply alight with joy - and all while never venturing beyond the walls of your room. And I would put our continued success down to one simple thing. At the end of every tumbling session, one of us will turn to the other and say, Thank you very much. That was very pleasant. Very pleasant indeed. My dear, I am much obliged to you.

    Because at the end of the day, that is the hottest sex tip of all: gratitude. That you've found someone who wants to do that thing, with you, and no government has yet found a way to charge you VAT on it. You can set fire to the sky, and not be charged a penny.

    Sometimes, it's great being a human.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #16

    Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #17

    As it turned out, almost every notion I had on my 13th birthday about my future turned out to be a total waste of my time. When I thought of myself as an adult, all I could imagine was someone thin, and smooth, and calm, to whom things... happened. Some kind of souped-up princess with a credit card. I didn't have any notion about self-development, or following my interests, or learning big life lessons, or, most important, finding out what I was good at and trying to earn a living from it. I presumed that these were all things that some grown-ups would come along and basically tell me what to do about at some point, and that I really shouldn't worry about them. I didn't worry about what I was going to do. What I did worry about, and thought I should work hard at, was what I should be, instead. I thought all of my efforts should be concentrated on being fabulous, rather than doing fabulous things.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #18

    At its best fashion is a game. But for women it's a compulsory game, like net ball, and you can't get out of it by faking your period. I know I have tried. And so for a woman every outfit is a hopeful spell, cast to influence the outcome of the day. An act of trying to predict your fate, like looking at your horoscope. No wonder there are so many fashion magazines. No wonder the fashion industry is worth an estimated 900 billion dollars a year. No wonder every woman's first thought is, for nearly every event in her life, be it work, snow or birth. The semi-despairing cry of but what will I wear? Because when a woman says I have nothing to wear, what she really means is there is nothing here for who I am supposed to be today.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #19

    Batman doesn’t want a baby in order to feel he’s ‘done everything’. He’s just saved Gotham again! If this means that Batman must be a feminist role model above, say, Nicola Horlick, then so be it.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #20

    Because I haven't yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #21

    Because the purpose of feminism isn’t to make a particular type of woman. The idea that there are inherently wrong and inherently right “types” of women is what’s screwed feminism for so long?—?this belief that “we” wouldn’t accept slaggy birds, dim birds, birds that bitch, birds that hire cleaners, birds that stay at home with their kids, birds that have pink Mini Metros with POWERED BY FAIRY DUST! bumper stickers, birds in burkas or birds that like to pretend, in their heads, that they’re married to Zach Braff from Scrubs and that you sometimes have sex in an ambulance while the rest of the cast watch and, latterly, clap. You know what? Feminism will have all of you.

    What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be.

    Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #22

    Books seem the most potent source: each one is the sum total of a life that can be inhaled in a single day. I read fast, so I'm hoovering up lives at a ferocious pace, six or seven or eight in a week. I particularly love autobiographies: I can eat a whole person by sundown.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #23

    But deciding not to have children is a very, very hard decision for a woman to make: the atmosphere is worryingly inconducive to saying, I choose not to, or it all sounds a bit vile, tbh. We call these women selfish The inference of the word childless is negative: one of lack, and loss. We think of nonmothers as rangy lone wolves--rattling around, as dangerous as teenage boys or men. We make women feel that their narrative has ground to a halt in their thirities if they don't finish things properly and have children.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #24

    But I am, personally, not a gambler. I wouldn’t spend £1 on the lottery, let alone take a punt on a pregnancy. The stakes are far, far too high. I can’t agree with a society that would force me to bet on how much I could love under duress.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #25

    But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #26

    But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'
    I understand.
    So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

    a) Do you have a vagina? and
    b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

    If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #27

    Every woman who chooses--joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of her own free will and desire--not to have a child does womankind a massive favor in the long term. We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people. After all, half of those new people we go on to create are also women--presumably themselves to be judged, in their futures, for not making new people. And so it will go on, and on...

    While motherhood is an incredible vocation, it has no more inherent worth than a childless woman simply being who she is, to the utmost of her capabilities. To think otherwise betrays a belief that being a thinking, creative, productive, and fulfilled woman is, somehow, not enough. That no action will ever be the equal of giving birth.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #28

    Feminism has had exactly the same problem that political correctness has had: people keep using the phrase without really knowing what it means.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #29

    Feminism needs Zero Tolerance over baby angst. In the 21st century, it can't be about who we might make, and what they might do, anymore. It has to be about who we are, and what we're going to do.

  • Caitlin Moran Quote #30

    For throughout history, you can read the stories of women who - against all the odds - got being a woman right, but ended up being compromised, unhappy, hobbled or ruined, because all around them, society was still wrong. Show a girl a pioneering hero - Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Frida Kahlo, Cleopatra, Boudicca, Joan of Arc - and you also, more often than not, show a girl a woman who was eventually crushed.

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