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Scott Adams Quotes | Quotes said by Scott Adams

  • Scott Adams Quote #1

    A goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don't sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, its a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal. If you achieve your goal, you celebrate and feel terrific, but only until you realize you just lost the thing that gave you purpose and direction. Your options are to feel empty and useless, perhaps enjoying the spoils of your success until they bore you, or set new goals and reenter the cycle of permanent presuccess failure. All I'm suggesting is that thinking of goals and systems as very different concepts has power. Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous presuccess failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good everytime they apply their system. That's a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.


  • Scott Adams Quote #2

    Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.

  • Scott Adams Quote #3

    Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

  • Scott Adams Quote #4

    Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

  • Scott Adams Quote #5

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

  • Scott Adams Quote #6

    I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

  • Scott Adams Quote #7

    Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's a condition that everybody slips into many times a day. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time.

  • Scott Adams Quote #8

    If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

  • Scott Adams Quote #9

    If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

  • Scott Adams Quote #10

    If you want to understand UFOs, reincarnation and God, do not study UFOs, reincarnation and God. Study people.

  • Scott Adams Quote #11

    In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

  • Scott Adams Quote #12

    Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

  • Scott Adams Quote #13

    It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

  • Scott Adams Quote #14

    Lately...the Peter Principle has given way to the Dilbert Principle. The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

  • Scott Adams Quote #15

    Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

  • Scott Adams Quote #16

    Losers have goals. Winners have systems.

  • Scott Adams Quote #17

    Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

  • Scott Adams Quote #18

    Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

  • Scott Adams Quote #19

    Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

  • Scott Adams Quote #20

    Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

  • Scott Adams Quote #21

    Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

  • Scott Adams Quote #22

    Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.

  • Scott Adams Quote #23

    The best things in life are silly.

  • Scott Adams Quote #24

    The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find
    someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is
    futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone
    who is capable of significant change; that sort of person
    exists only in our imaginations.

  • Scott Adams Quote #25

    The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

  • Scott Adams Quote #26

    The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

  • Scott Adams Quote #27

    The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

  • Scott Adams Quote #28

    The only risk of failure is promotion.

  • Scott Adams Quote #29

    Theory of Evolution (Summary)

    First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.

  • Scott Adams Quote #30

    There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.

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