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Warren Ellis Quotes | Quotes said by Warren Ellis

  • Warren Ellis Quote #1

    At the departure gate, a drunken airport security woman was handing out box cutters to the passengers.


  • Warren Ellis Quote #2

    Bat stood in the open door and said I am a crime scene unit detective from the New York City Police Department, you heinous fucking mongoloid, and there is nothing I cannot do.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #3

    By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #4

    Chris Claremont once said of Alan Moore, if he could plot, we'd all have to get together and kill him. Which utterly misses the most compelling part of Alan's writing, the way he develops and expresses ideas and character. Plot does not define story. Plot is the framework within which ideas are explored and personalities and relationships are unfolded.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #5

    Dance like you're stamping on a human face forever, love like you've been in a serious car crash that minced the front of your brain, stab like no one can arrest you, and live like there's no such thing as God.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #6

    Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #7

    Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

  • Warren Ellis Quote #8

    He'd always liked women who'd talk back to him just a little bit. Girls with balls were good. Women with an actual mind of their own who could prove him wrong in something were, of course, castrating bitches who should be drowned in bottomless wells.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #9

    I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #10

    I try not to get involved in the business of prediction. It's a quick way to look like an idiot.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #11

    I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

  • Warren Ellis Quote #12

    If contemporary literary fiction doesn't read a bit like science fiction then it's probably not all that contemporary, is it

  • Warren Ellis Quote #13

    If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

  • Warren Ellis Quote #14

    In the long run, you see, none of that matters.

    I've seen Heaven, Dowling. And it's not a place where you exercise any power.

    In the long run, we are all three-dimensional side-effects of a two-dimensional universe existing in a multidimensional stack.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #15

    Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on at the 1st as to which of the two would arrive at work wearing the other's skin as a hat within the year.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #16

    Mister Sun wondered if he really believed it was true that the heart is just a pump.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #17

    Of course I don't care if you're bleeding! I'm fucking autistic!

  • Warren Ellis Quote #18

    Once in a very blue moon, John Tallow imagined his younger self standing down the timeline of his present life, bare toes curling in teenage beach sand, looking ahead to today and watching his future life collapse in on itself like a dying star. His future life becoming small and dark and dense, its gravity apparently grim and inescapable.

    Once in a very blue moon, John Tallow spent some cash on a bottle of vodka and drank it at home within an hour.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #19

    Our guy has a property office, John. And I don't mean the Property Office here in One PP. I mean the huge fucking storage facility. A guy in there, with access to thousands of fucking handguns. Even the ones that other people would be keeping an eye on, like Son of Sam's piece, for fuck's sake - a guy in there who'll just boost them and give them to our guy to kill people with. And if the guns are too famous, he'll cut his own slugs out of the bodies and walk away. This guy, our guy, he's actually starting to scare me a bit right now.

    A couple of hundred kills to his name didn't do that?

    Meh. I dream about killing two hundred people every fucking night.

    You know, said Tallow, whenever I'm in danger of forgetting you're CSU, you always find a way to remind me.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #20

    Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #21

    Straight people are so fucking weird.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #22

    That was a stupid idea I made up while drunk. Why did someone build that?

  • Warren Ellis Quote #23

    The book is almost always better than the movie. You could have no better case in point than FROM HELL, Alan Moore's best graphic novel to date, brilliantly illustrated by Eddie Campbell. It's hard to describe just how much better the book is.

    It's like, If the movie was an episode of Battlestar Galactica with a guest appearance by the Smurfs and everyone spoke Dutch, the graphic novel is Citizen Kane with added sex scenes and music by your favourite ten bands and everyone in the world you ever hated dies at the end.

    That's how much better it is.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #24

    The City went to me in a LANDSLIDE, and you know why? Because all it wants is decent television, a bit of spare change for booze, and a blowjob every Saturday night.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #25

    The elevator doors opened to reveal a very large man brandishing a bloodstained antique phone receiver in a plastic bag and proclaiming, I found this up him!

    You know, said Tallow, I really have no response to that.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #26

    The untreated cardboard sleeve around the venti-plus cup, stamped with biodegradable inks, proclaiming the coffee shop's proud independence, the simple black printing on the flecked card making its own statement about authenticity.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #27

    There's one hole in every revolution, large or small. And it's one word long— PEOPLE. No matter how big the idea they all stand under, people are small and weak and cheap and frightened. It's people that kill every revolution.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #28

    Think about it; the quicktank is given a job most of us would laugh out of town. Build a sophisticated camera capable of full 3-D input and peripheral pickup, using only water and jelly.
    Build an eye.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #29

    To be a futurist, in pursuit of improving reality, is not to have your face continually turned upstream, waiting for the future to come. To improve reality is to clearly see where you are, and then wonder how to make that better.

  • Warren Ellis Quote #30

    Writer's block? I've heard of this. This is when a writer cannot write, yes? Then that person isn't a writer anymore. I'm sorry, but the job is getting up in the fucking morning and writing for a living.

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