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Fran Lebowitz Quotes | Quotes said by Fran Lebowitz

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #1

    All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.


  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #2

    Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #3

    As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #4

    Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #5

    Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #6

    Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #7

    I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #8

    I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #9

    I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #10

    If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #11

    If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #12

    If you're going to America, bring your own food.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #13

    If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #14

    In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #15

    Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #16

    Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #17

    Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #18

    My favorite animal is steak.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #19

    Now, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #20

    People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand there must be a reason for this.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #21

    Polite conversation is rarely either.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #22

    Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #23

    The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #24

    The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #25

    There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #26

    There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #27

    There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #28

    There's no equivalent to Mozart in writing.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #29

    Think before you speak. Read before you think.

  • Fran Lebowitz Quote #30

    Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

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