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Will Advise Quotes | Quotes said by Will Advise

  • Will Advise Quote #1

    #Cats are marvelous creatures - they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances adapt to them. Either way - they win.


  • Will Advise Quote #2

    A book about books is like a poem about poetry:

    Books are knowledge, paid for, all.
    Readers - horses in a stall.
    Stallions should always run.
    Lest they stale become, in turn.

    Running waters are most clear.
    In some books, you disappear –
    lose yourself, and track of time.
    How I wish that one was mine...

    Mine, to have, to write, to read...
    Mine, just like a flying steed.
    Mine, forever, - to improve.
    Would I then, of me, approve?

    I would not, I can't... myself.
    I'm but dust, swept off a shelf.
    Fly, can I, just 'til I'm settled,
    down, beside my flower, petalled.

  • Will Advise Quote #3

    A love poem about the most invisible woman:

    The perfect mind, the perfect cover.
    I knew her, like… there was no other.
    No, I will never, her, forget.
    In pure blood - these words are set.
    She walks alone now, in my dreams,
    where no is never, so it seems.
    The night is dark, and near the hour –
    to plant a tree, where roses flower.
    And then, again, again, once more,
    Till hidden is what I adore.
    Her heart was pure, and also kind,
    And I… should not have acted blind.

  • Will Advise Quote #4

    A poem to Raymond, whom everybody loves, originally composed on a waterproof smartphone in a sea of love, which was hidden under the pile of garbage that my bum-pals that have no pen names, or pen-pals, or names, for that matter, brought to me as an offering on the 1st of April 1877, exactly 111 years and 7 months before I was brought forth to this world, because some anonymous prophet told them this would bring luck, joy, happiness, food, and, of course – shelter from evil (he was lying):

    If it's fantasy you seek,
    to E. Feist then, you must speak.
    All he writes is all there is,
    for his words, they move the seas.
    .
    I would write, but I know naught.
    In my heart there is a draught.
    Hidden desert - golden sands.
    Few my love can ever stand.

    And so far I've talked to many,
    a reply - will there be any?
    I know - not, yet I know naught,
    all to question, I was taught...

    So I learn, I borrow wisdom,
    from the great, the ones with vision.
    They can teach, the few that grasp,
    concepts from a long forgotten past.

  • Will Advise Quote #5

    A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

  • Will Advise Quote #6

    All Authors come from the unified countrynent known as Australia. Authors live in the future where love is external.

  • Will Advise Quote #7

    All my friends are bums. We all gather round our camp-fire (in a can) and sing songs of togetherness as we cuddle, to preserve our warmth...

  • Will Advise Quote #8

    An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, silent, and, well expected. It’s because in Soviet Russia nothing happens anymore, because it doesn’t exist anymore. And Americans are all about happenings. If there isn’t one – they don’t go where it isn’t, because there isn’t anything to happen to them there.

  • Will Advise Quote #9

    And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unless, of course he loves to work, in which case he’ll surely love working for me, because I love people who love to do that to love to do that.

  • Will Advise Quote #10

    And now, for something completely the same:

    Wasted time and wasted breath,
    's what I'll make, until my death.
    Helping people 'd be as good,
    but I wouldn't, if I could.

    For the few that help deserve,
    have no need, or not the nerve,
    help from strangers to accept,
    plus from mine a few have wept.

    Wept from joy, or from despair,
    or just from my vengeful stare.
    Ways I have, to look at stupid,
    make them see I am not Cupid.

    Make them see they are in error,
    for of truth I am a bearer.
    Most decide I'm just a bear,
    mauling at them, - like I care.

  • Will Advise Quote #11

    As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really.

  • Will Advise Quote #12

    Backpackers can pack much more meows than baggers. Beggars never feed stray cats as street cats are self-sustaining.

  • Will Advise Quote #13

    Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.

  • Will Advise Quote #14

    Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask.

  • Will Advise Quote #15

    Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie.

  • Will Advise Quote #16

    Everything is like a wall.
    Said a scholar to the troll.
    Bang your head to go on through.
    Then you'll see, there is no queue.

  • Will Advise Quote #17

    Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don’t believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you’ll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn’t make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is.

  • Will Advise Quote #18

    Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead.

  • Will Advise Quote #19

    Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of redundancy. But that info is obsolete, like my insults dictionary, which I stole.

  • Will Advise Quote #20

    I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?

  • Will Advise Quote #21

    I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything.

  • Will Advise Quote #22

    I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither.

  • Will Advise Quote #23

    I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means of teleportation.

  • Will Advise Quote #24

    I sometimes go to a mythical place called workplace, where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off.

  • Will Advise Quote #25

    I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

  • Will Advise Quote #26

    I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet.

  • Will Advise Quote #27

    I wonder how Japan's futuristic robot doctors will treat the worst and most widespread disease humanity already has - artificially lowered IQ. Making people stupider makes them buy more stuff – so “How many robots can you afford?” will be the big question of one of the following decades, unless we go back to Communism and produce everything for the sake of it, for free.

  • Will Advise Quote #28

    I'd like to make a twosome with two handsome trees. Make that a threesome as I'd also include a bush in the package, to keep it low profile.

  • Will Advise Quote #29

    I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left.

  • Will Advise Quote #30

    I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough moronism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot.

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